"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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