I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
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