He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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