Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
