UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
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