carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
