fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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