Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
