just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I want to fling myself into the sun
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
