There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Randomize
