The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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