You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
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I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
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do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
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