I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize