even my farts smell like vagina
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
