Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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