I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize