Christians are straight up FREAKS
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Randomize
