____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
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