I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
