With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
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