FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
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