I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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