do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Randomize
