I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Randomize