i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
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