we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
