Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit