Texts From Last Night

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  (381): View more from

  I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.

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  (381): I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore. http://tfl.nu/l0iw
  Replies (15) Good night (1442) Bad night (3279)
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  (551): View more from New Jersey

  1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.

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  (551): 1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one. http://tfl.nu/vtrz
  Replies (51) Good night (6155) Bad night (805)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!

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  (201): yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?! http://tfl.nu/evmd
  Replies (28) Good night (3903) Bad night (642)
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  (561): View more from Florida

  Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree

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  (561): Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree http://tfl.nu/oe6w
  Replies (32) Good night (8085) Bad night (1096)
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  (207): View more from Maine

  we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?

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  (207): we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet? http://tfl.nu/uydl
  Replies (9) Good night (6246) Bad night (975)
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  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.

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  (715): I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help. http://tfl.nu/ztsu
  Replies (3) Good night (1387) Bad night (713)
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  (575): View more from New Mexico

  She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.

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  (575): She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on. http://tfl.nu/epik
  Replies (2) Good night (1784) Bad night (624)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?

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  (612): So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one? http://tfl.nu/17zg
  Replies (4) Good night (1276) Bad night (660)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke

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  (317): Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke http://tfl.nu/8yqx
  Replies (3) Good night (909) Bad night (707)
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  (775): View more from Nevada

  He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there

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  (775): He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there http://tfl.nu/7cfh
  Replies (8) Good night (921) Bad night (415)
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  (231): View more from Michigan

  You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really

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  (231): You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really http://tfl.nu/kw3p
  Replies (6) Good night (1431) Bad night (378)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!

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  (360): No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?! http://tfl.nu/nhtk
  Replies (2) Good night (543) Bad night (270)
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  (914): View more from New York

  I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin

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  (914): I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin http://tfl.nu/vobt
  Replies (2) Good night (584) Bad night (317)
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom

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  (734): Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom http://tfl.nu/vsfc
  Replies (3) Good night (725) Bad night (234)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.

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  (612): I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week. http://tfl.nu/2ttl
  Replies (4) Good night (301) Bad night (496)

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