I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?