i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
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