i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
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Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
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