I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
