Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Randomize
