You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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