My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Randomize
