Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
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at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
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Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
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