It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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