ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
