WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize