and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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