we need to drink 2009 down the drain
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
