I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
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