I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
