just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
I stole a fireplace last night.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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