Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
