I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
grandma shit on top of the toilet
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize