shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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