clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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