Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
