Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.