D3 body, D1 cock
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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