Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(802): View more from Vermont

last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.

(917): View more from New York City

dollar well spent

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(802): last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears. (917): dollar well spent http://tfl.nu/wmsi

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(925): View more from California

I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.

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(925): I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands. http://tfl.nu/9x0j

Replies (22) Good night (6639) Bad night (1420)
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(443): View more from Maryland

dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.

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(443): dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though. http://tfl.nu/36m5

Replies (27) Good night (6855) Bad night (1242)
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(860): View more from Connecticut

failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.

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(860): failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm. http://tfl.nu/gfgw

Replies (13) Good night (4984) Bad night (1664)
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(315): View more from New York

thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.

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(315): thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often. http://tfl.nu/bjyl

Replies (25) Good night (3522) Bad night (2271)
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(402): View more from Nebraska

Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.

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(402): Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex. http://tfl.nu/hnii

Replies (4) Good night (3600) Bad night (823)
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(407): View more from Florida

If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.

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(407): If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life. http://tfl.nu/zp1p

Replies (11) Good night (1028) Bad night (2572)
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(651): View more from Minnesota

Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.

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(651): Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle. http://tfl.nu/f80s

Replies (12) Good night (1158) Bad night (922)
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(651): View more from Minnesota

When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.

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(651): When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end. http://tfl.nu/o22d

Replies (17) Good night (690) Bad night (2798)
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(513): View more from Ohio

Lets just say I chased with a burrito.

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(513): Lets just say I chased with a burrito. http://tfl.nu/8s3e

Replies (4) Good night (932) Bad night (566)
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(+61): View more from Australia

It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.

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(+61): It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls. http://tfl.nu/jcbb

Replies (1) Good night (1232) Bad night (587)
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(631): View more from New York

She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.

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(631): She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real. http://tfl.nu/p8fj

Replies (21) Good night (5011) Bad night (935)
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(262): View more from Wisconsin

he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready

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(262): he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready http://tfl.nu/cfza

Replies (10) Good night (937) Bad night (568)
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(856): View more from New Jersey

and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time

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(856): and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time http://tfl.nu/kr7x

Replies (1) Good night (769) Bad night (377)
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(941): View more from Florida

I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.

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(941): I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present. http://tfl.nu/9c6n

Replies (3) Good night (845) Bad night (426)

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