I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Randomize
