Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

Favorite
(508): View more from Massachusetts

dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move

(617): View more from Massachusetts

that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(508): dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move (617): that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame http://tfl.nu/79g6

Replies (15) Good night (6726) Bad night (812)
Favorite
(908): View more from New Jersey

I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(908): I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep http://tfl.nu/s4hd

Replies (41) Good night (1305) Bad night (4011)
Favorite
(715): View more from Wisconsin

I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(715): I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part http://tfl.nu/to5h

Replies (15) Good night (1038) Bad night (4310)
Favorite
(203): View more from Connecticut

As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(203): As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions http://tfl.nu/qlm8

Replies (7) Good night (4201) Bad night (1030)
Favorite
(715): View more from Wisconsin

Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!

(218): View more from Minnesota

I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(715): Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy! (218): I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head. http://tfl.nu/0svk

Replies (29) Good night (4959) Bad night (1926)
Favorite
(860): View more from Connecticut

I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(860): I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday. http://tfl.nu/lawx

Replies (14) Good night (3138) Bad night (1079)
Favorite
(302): View more from Delaware

I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(302): I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me. http://tfl.nu/pfoh

Replies (7) Good night (3292) Bad night (980)
Favorite
(415): View more from California

When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(415): When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you? http://tfl.nu/fdu7

Replies (20) Good night (990) Bad night (2012)
Favorite
(715): View more from Wisconsin

I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(715): I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to... http://tfl.nu/6wxx

Replies (8) Good night (600) Bad night (1416)
Favorite
(647): View more from Ontario

I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(647): I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does. http://tfl.nu/q7vv

Replies (9) Good night (1499) Bad night (528)
Favorite
(832): View more from Houston, Texas

I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(832): I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock http://tfl.nu/sqvr

Replies (2) Good night (892) Bad night (416)
Favorite
(978): View more from Massachusetts

Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(978): Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you. http://tfl.nu/qush

Replies (4) Good night (1132) Bad night (519)
Favorite
(814): View more from Pennsylvania

its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(814): its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid http://tfl.nu/32bb

Replies (2) Good night (811) Bad night (311)
Favorite
(510): View more from California

Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(510): Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye? http://tfl.nu/6n0k

Replies (6) Good night (974) Bad night (396)
Favorite
(706): View more from Georgia

See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(706): See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working http://tfl.nu/fcot

Replies (3) Good night (999) Bad night (375)

Randomize

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Find Us On: