Texts From Last Night

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  (541): View more from Oregon

  I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night

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  (541): I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night http://tfl.nu/6f3k
  Replies (6) Good night (1296) Bad night (3504)
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  (225): View more from Louisiana

  things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.

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  (225): things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control. http://tfl.nu/aw3o
  Replies (36) Good night (6255) Bad night (839)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.

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  (919): She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat. http://tfl.nu/bin7
  Replies (9) Good night (1775) Bad night (5225)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"

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  (814): I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?" http://tfl.nu/d4r4
  Replies (120) Good night (1684) Bad night (4577)
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  (760): View more from California

  Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.

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  (760): Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate. http://tfl.nu/nm6j
  Replies (16) Good night (4494) Bad night (889)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me

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  (303): i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me http://tfl.nu/46xf
  Replies (11) Good night (3683) Bad night (757)
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  (646): View more from New York

  Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient

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  (646): Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient http://tfl.nu/jyiu
  Replies (29) Good night (1270) Bad night (5403)
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  (907): View more from Alaska

  I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.

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  (907): I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar. http://tfl.nu/wjyf
  Replies (8) Good night (3539) Bad night (951)
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  (905): View more from Ontario

  She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her

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  (905): She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her http://tfl.nu/rw3c
  Replies (8) Good night (2355) Bad night (961)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.

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  (847): Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring. http://tfl.nu/5gh0
  Replies (3) Good night (1547) Bad night (811)
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  (618): View more from Illinois

  Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.

  (270): View more from Kentucky

  No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.

  (618): View more from Illinois

  Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.

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  (618): Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you. (270): No, that's okay. Don't worry about it. (618): Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway. http://tfl.nu/gcov
  Replies (45) Good night (3578) Bad night (1259)
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  (516): View more from New York

  The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.

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  (516): The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety. http://tfl.nu/31qs
  Replies (3) Good night (1647) Bad night (869)
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  (843): View more from South Carolina

  No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction

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  (843): No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction http://tfl.nu/q1mm
  Replies (1) Good night (362) Bad night (719)
• Favorite

  (949): View more from California

  Amanda bynes is my spirit animal

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  (949): Amanda bynes is my spirit animal http://tfl.nu/eohy
  Replies (2) Good night (641) Bad night (416)
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  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity

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  (414): Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity http://tfl.nu/984f
  Replies (4) Good night (412) Bad night (292)

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