Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs