just tell him i said nine months
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
25 Shocking High School Scandals You Won’t Believe Are True
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage