There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas