i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
25 Porn Addicts Admit Their Biggest Pet Peeves
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.