I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Randomize
