so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
