I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Randomize
