My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
