you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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