she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize