These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
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