If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Randomize
