trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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