Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
