haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize
