hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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