something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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