I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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